


Say You'll Haut Me

by Whorever



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, M/M, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2013-12-09
Packaged: 2018-01-03 13:26:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whorever/pseuds/Whorever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armin has developed a way to allow the fallen soldiers of the titan war to be presented through a person's memories, by hooking Jean up to a Machine, he allows him to get in touch with Marco again. Something goes wrong while Jean is hooked up and now Jean sees Marco with him wherever he goes, causing people to think he's insane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Back Again

"I only got out because of you!"

  
"It's all thanks to you!"

  
"I told you before, didn't I? You're cut out to be a leader!"

  
**No I'm not.**

  
To this day, I still don't know how you came to that conclusion. I tried. I really did try, but it was because I was trying for you. I never really learned how to try for myself, and maybe that was because I didn't really have any desire to try so hard for myself. I could live with dying, as long as I knew what I was dying for, but trying to do something better of myself.. I couldn't without you there...

  
Everyone else tried though.

  
"Ah, Jean! You're back again! Thank you so much for coming!" Even Armin tried. "Listen, I know it's probably rough on your schedule, but I want you to know I really appreciate this! I think I've finally perfected it!" His voice snapped me back from my thoughts, making focus on the current time.

  
"Armin." I breathed as the blond led me into his back room. "It's fine, really." I was trying to play it cool, but I couldn't. He said he might have perfected it, and that got me excited. If.. If he did, perhaps...My hands were shaking at the thought of it, but... Perhaps I have another chance to talk to him again..?

  
Armin rushed to this big metal door he had in the back of this building and pulled it open. I could see the excitement in his movements, and the way that his arms were shaking. I could tell he knew he had successfully completed this, he just needed to test it out. That's what I was here for.

  
"Here, here, come on now, hurry up!" The blond rushed, as he ran up to the large control panel that was pushed up against the wall. Above them were blank screens. One that lined up to each section of the control panel. He had about four so far, and seemed to be working on another two from the appearence of the right wall. I wasn't going to ask him about it. The way his lips were shaking, I doubt he could've told me without stuttering.

  
In front of each of the control panels were chairs. Not normal ones though, they were made more to fit your whole body, as opposed to just sitting in it. I already knew what to do, as this had been about the fifth time that Armin asked me here. I pulled myself into the chair, slidding upward as I tried to fit into it comfortably. "Why're you telling me to hurry up when all I have to do is sit here?" I commented, leaning my head off of the top part. It resembled a pillow that was shaped to cushion your neck. There wasn't any spot to actually put my head, something about the tools Armin was going to attach to me needed that space.

  
Armin powered up the computer in front of my seat and then rushed back towards me. He completely ignored my comment as he pulled out the mass amounts of wires that were dangling off of a silver like tool, about four foot tall. Turning around, he began placing little suction cup like items that had the wires attached to them to various spots on my body.

  
I took in a deep breath, realizing now just how nervous I was. Armin was a genius. He knew how to work with new things, and he loved creating new things. This new creation of his had taken him a good ten years to get this far. He didn't even get into the testing stage until about a month ago, but even then, his efforts always seemed to come up short.

  
The past few times I had been here though, things were looking up. Each test he ran came back with less and less problems. Now, I didn't understand any of it, but I wasn't here to. I was here to help him find the problems. A part of me was almost hoping that there would be a problem this time as well. I suddenly felt like I wasn't ready enough for this, like I needed more time.

  
"Ready?" Armin breathed out. I nodded, completely lying to him, and closed my eyes, attempting to let my body completely relax. I listened as Armin flicked a switch and a slight humming noise rang in my ears. The room went dark as the two of us waited, Armin was staring at the screen in front, while I still had my eyes closed, waiting for the blond to give me the signal to open them. "Alright, all of the signals are coming back okay.. Looks like it's ready..." I still kept my eyes closed. The silence in the room was making me so nervous. I heard Armin begin to say something, but he cut himself short.

  
"What?" I paniced. "What is it? Is something wrong?" Keep your eyes closed, he didn't say anything yet, just don't open them Jean, don't fuck this up.

  
"No," Armin started. "Just.. If... If this works.. Then.. So many things.." I didn't need to see him to understand how he felt. "Jean, we'll be able to talk to all of our loved ones that have died... We'll.... We'll be able to help so many people."

  
"Ahh!" I groaned. "Armin, cut it out, you're making me nervous. "

  
"Ah! Sorry!" He responded. "Just... This is big.. And you helped me a lot. So..Here goes nothing." I'm guessing he looked over the last of the tests before he took in a nervous breath. "Okay Jean.. Open them!"

  
Slowly, I pulled my eyes open, attempting to stare forward at the screen, but my vision was blocked.

  
My eyes widened instantly and jaw dropped at the image that kept the full screen out of my view. No. No way.. No no no, this can't be!

  
"Mar.....co..." I breathed.

  
The image in front of me tilted his head a bit before cracking its lips apart and responding. "Hey Jean," His voice.. It.. It sounded just like him! "How come you look so old?"


	2. A Small Spark

"I..." My throat felt dry. "I.."

"Jean!" Armin's voice cracked through my trance. "Is it working?"

"Is what working?" The Marco in front of me asked, turning its head towards where Armin was. 

"....Yes...." I breathed, pressing my hand to my face as I tried to talk all of this in. "It's Marco.. Right here.. Right in front of me.."

"What?" Marco blinked. "What's going on?"

Armin smiled, looking at his readings on the screen. "This is unbelievable! I can't believe it's working!" For a moment, he sounded happier about it then I did. 

"Marco.. There are... There are so many things that I want to tell you.." I exhaled, a smile cracking on my face. "I never got a chance to..."

"Is that what all the yelling is about?" Marco questioned, his eyebrows bent in confusion. "You can tell me anything you know." 

I turned to Armin, who was watching me now with a bewildered look in his eyes. I could tell that he couldn't wait to use this himself. 

There was a side of me that was ready to give up the seat and let the blond do his thing , but I was also feeling selfish. I wanted to talk to him, I had so much to tell him. Hell, I had years worth of conversation to have with this man, I couldn't just give it up without having said much of anything to him. 

Armin's face changed into a warm smile. "I understand, don't worry." He murmured. "I'll be back every so often to check on you, alright?" I nodded, a sense of relief washing over me.

Once I heard Armin leave, my eyes locked onto the brown pair in front of me. He was the first one to break the gaze, taking his hand and rubbing the back of his neck with it. "What's with that look on your face, Jean? You're acting like this is the first time you've seen me or something." 

"Oh," I blinked. "I just..." Would he believe me if I told him he had died? "It just feels like it's been forever..."

"Hah, what do you mean?" He laughed. "We saw each other the other day, remember? You almost got eaten by that titan."

"Marco..." His eyes met mine again. "Titans don't exist anymore..."

His eyes widened slightly. "What.. What do you mean...?"

"There's... So much I have to tell you." I realized, thinking about everything that had gone on in the time since Marco's death. "I... Don't even know where to start."

"Is this a joke..? I mean, if something as serious as titans not existing anymore happened, how on earth would I not know about that?" Marco heaved. "You're freaking me out, you don't look healthy at all either."

"Hey," I cut him off. "You gotta believe me, alright? I know it sounds...impossible, but you've got to believe me." He took in a a breath and  then nodded. "Alright.. First off.. You're not going to remember any of this because you've been-" Should I say it? Should I tell him he's been dead this whole time? "-Comatose." I blurted. Yeah, that fit better. I would believe that more then someone telling me I was dead. 

"Coma...tose...?"

"Yeah... That day when we had to distract all of those titans.. When my gear stopped working, you got hurt pretty badly by a titan... You've been comatose ever since."

"...So....That's why..." Marco blinked, looking down in thought. "I..can't remember ever being hurt by a titan, it's all kind of a blur, but..I guess I have to believe you.."

"I'm.. Sorry Marco," I sighed. His face seemed pained for a moment. 

"Ah,"He huffed. "At least I'm not dead, right?" Hearing him say that felt like a knife to the heart. "Anyway, what else did I miss out on?"

"Um..." I thought back on everything that had happened. "we found out a lot of stuff about the titans. It allowed us to take back all of our territory with in the walls, and little by little, we were able to take out the titans.

"Eren helped out out tremendously. If it weren't for him..." I moved passed the thought. "Ah, well after the recon corps had led missions to hunt the titans outside of the walls, they had taken out enough titans to let people actually live outside.

"A few years passed and the recons corps had claimed it safe enough to destroy the walls-

"-Destroy the walls!?" Marco exclaimed. "Why on earth would they do that? What if the titans came back?" 

"Because..." I felt stumped for a moment. There was so much that he didn't know. "... It wasn't safe,  I'll leave it at that. " Marco looked confused but I wasn't going to explain that to him ." Any way, that took quite a few years to accomplish, but once it was done,  there was only one titan left...." I trailed off looking down. 

"Was that... " Marco blinked. "...Eren?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. "He was executed on behalf of the human race. His death had brought a bout the victory of mankind in the war against the titans."

Marco looked down, twiddling his fingers. "Wow...I mean.... It makes sense but... Eren..."

"It was his idea..." I mumbled. "Corporal Levi, Mikasa.. Armin, the whole scouting legion had fought to keep him alive... They wanted to use him as a defense mechanism in the case that titans came about again, but after Corporal Levi died... It was almost impossible to keep the case out of the court room."  Marco' lower lip twitched, his eyes trailing downward as his mind took all of the information in. "Armin was doing a good job in keeping Eren, but after neither side could come to an agreement, Eren suggested an execution."

"That's.. Incredible.." Marco breathed. "I mean, not that it had to happen, but willingly giving up your life like that... I can't believe that I missed-" 

In the blink of an eye, Marco's image in front of me just vanished, the same way the image on a tv screen would. It took only two seconds for me to realize that I wasn't even talking to Marco. I was just talking to myself this entire time, and it left an empty feeling inside me just thinking about it. 

Eren, Levi, and all of the other soldiers that I watched die in front of me. All of those deaths, and I just couldn't get over Marco's. Why was it so hard?

"Sorry Jean. " Armin's voice cut through my thoughts like a saw blade. "The machine's running low on energy, I'm going to refuel it, and work on making copies." He said as he began to pull the cords off of my head. "You'll be able to come back tomorrow to help me some more, right?" He offered.

"Yeah..." I mumbled. "I'll be back."

And that's exactly what I did.

For the next five months. 

It only took Armin about a month or two to get the machines all up and running, and after word got out, people were offering millions to buy his technology. Not surprising at all, Armin didn't bite. Instead, he decided to open the business up himself, allowing a certain amount of people to come in after having a mental examination, and a few test gos. 

It was amazing how many people were lining up to come see a vision of their loved ones. When I thought about it, I just got angry. Not one person was seeing exactly who they wanted. It was all just an image that their brain had recorded. It probably didn't even act like the real person would've.

Still.

I came back.

  Day after day I came back. I was probably addicted to this , if it was possible. I couldn't stop. I knew it was stupid, and in a way, it was incredibly insulting to Marco for me doing this. I couldn't accept his death, so I was selfishly pretending that it never happened.  

Oddly enough, the image of Marco I saw every time seemed to age just a little bit more each time I came to see him. His cheeks had lost the slight baby fat it had and his eyes seemed to have gotten thinner, while his posture itself was just older looking. Regardless, he was still Marco. It still made me unbelievably happy to see him and to talk to him. 

"Jean, I never asked you this, but what did you do after for the past twenty years?"

"Hah?" I coughed, tilting my head to the side to his question. "What do you think I did? I was a part of the scouting legion, and just made my way up in the ranks, same as everyone else that didn't die." 

There was a big grin that appeared on Marco's face after hearing that. "So.. you were leading people then right? You became a leader?"

"I..." I lost my breath for a moment as I thought about the squads I had been a part of, and all of the missions I had carried out as the captain. "Yeah.... I did." Marco let out a laugh as he  seemed to be extremely happy about that fact. "I did it for you, Marco." My voice was soft, my brain slightly disconnecting itself from this conversation. I looked up at the freckled man in front of me, my gaze locking onto his. This wasn't really Marco.. This was just what my brain wanted to hear from him. Its how I wanted to see him react.. Would he have been that proud of me? Or was I just fooling myself?

"Jean.." Marco breathed. ".. I can-" His voice cut off, snapping my attention onto his image. It was twitching, beginning to fade away, but then coming back in weird proportions. 

"What...?" I breathed, turning towards the machine to my right. Sparks were flickering along the wires that were connected to me, the readings on the screen were completely frozen. I didn't even have enough time to pull on the wires and detach them from myself. I got maybe a total of three off before the rest of the sparks shot up them and burnt the small parts of my skin that were underneath. "Ah! Son of a bitch!" I yelped, looking for the power key. I pulled the wires out of the machine, and then gave up on looking for a power switch. I took the cord right out of the socket and let the machine die down. "What the hell was that....?" I mumbled.

"I don't know, it didn't look good. " My eyes widened as I turned around and saw a perplexed Marco standing next to me.

Marco.

Was standing right next to me.

Staring at the machine that fooled me into thinking he was still alive in some way.

"Jean, are you alright?" He blinked turning his gaze to me.

"I.." I shook my head. I was seeing things, right? This must just be an after effect. " You.. shouldn't... be there..." I mumbled to myself. 


	3. Side Effect

"That's really weird.. I don't see anything wrong with it.. That mark, on the side of your head, is it from where the wire was hooked up?"

  
My eyes were focused down at the machine I had been previously hooked up to. Armin was knelt beside it, messing around with the codes and wiring and whatever else he had going on down there. According to the system, nothing happened. "Yeah." I commented. The blond looked confused as he dug deeper into it's main frame, trying to find some problem with it, but like everything he checked prior, it came up all okay.

  
"What's he trying to do?" My jaw clenched at the voice. I'm just hearing things now, obviously it has nothing to do with the machine.

  
Armin let out a sigh and pulled himself upright. "Whelp..." he breathed, turning towards me. "I don't know what caused it. Everything is adding up all okay, I'll have to shut this one down though, just in case." He patted the hunk of metal and cracked a smile towards me. "Thanks for letting me know, I'd rather you get zapped than any of the customers, you know?"

  
"Thanks.." I rolled my eyes. The extra presence in the room was unnerving.

  
"Nothing happened to you, right?" Armin asked, his eyes looking at the scabbed burn marks on the side of my head.

  
I turned my gaze away, looking towards the figure of Marco. His face was worried, sad. The second I looked at him, the worry melted away into a warm smile. I felt uncomfortably guilty for some reason.

  
"Nope, " I sighed out. "Other than these scabs, nothing. "

  
Armin smiled. "That's good. " He pulled a pen out of one of his pockets, and grabbed a clipboard he had from the computer. Starting with a fresh piece of paper, he glanced up at me, ready to write. "Regardless of what happened, I still need to write a report."

  
"Armin..." I groaned. "Can't you just do it for me?"

  
"Can't. That'd be going against the Terms of Service, I could get in huge trouble you know. "

  
"Marco's voice broke into our conversation. "What's the report for? That machine?"

  
"Uh..." I glanced over at Marco and coughed. "Y-yes?"

  
"Yes?" Armin quoted. "I don't need to know that you understand, just help me with the report. " He laughed.

  
"Ah," I chuckled. "Well, I think I started my session at 5:45...? Um, it was probably like twenty minutes later that the machine acted up. I unplugged it, and yeah"

  
Armin scribbled away, the scratching of the pen being the only noise in the room. Shortly after, Armin set the clipboard down and started twiddling the pen in between his fingers. He suddenly seemed extremely nervous. "Uh, So Jean..." He cleared his throat and then put his pen away. "Um.. If you weren't busy, maybe we could...talk about more of this stuff over lunch tomorrow?"

  
"What?" I blinked. What more was there to talk about? "Sure, I guess." I shrugged. Armin's face showed relief as his lips cracked into a small smile.  
"Great" He commented as he gathered his belongings. "I'll see you around noon then?" I nodded and Armin then made his way out of the room, most likely to continue research in his office or lab or something.

 

"Jean.. Are you mad at me..?" Marco walked at a slightly slower pace than mine, trailing behind me. "Did I do something wrong...?"

  
Other than the fact that you exist right now, no, nothing at all. I thought to myself. I wanted to say it out loud, but I couldn't. I couldn't say anything. If I did, Well I'd probably be sent to a loony bin.

  
"Jean..." His voice cracked slightly. "I- don't know what I did.. But I'm sorry.. I don't like it when you're not talking to me. "

  
"Tsk," I groaned. I wish I could just tell him to shut up, but even that would get me some stares, I bet. Ah, well, I was almost home anyway. "Shhhh." I shushed.

  
"Ah.." Marco breathed. He let out a sigh and not another word was heard from him until we arrived home.

  
I unlocked my front door and stepped inside, closing it after Marco followed in. "You can't talk to me in front of people like that." I snapped quickly.

  
"W-what do you mean..?" Marco stuttered, a look of confusion on his face. He stumbled back a bit as I threw a hand to my face.

  
"Look, I... I don't know how to explain this but.. You just can't do that, alright? If I'm not responding to you, it's because I physically can't. I'm not ignoring you.."

  
"You can't even give me a slight explanation?" Marco asked, his voice soft and gentle. His eyes stared at me with such worry that it pained me to even just tell him 'No' with the gesture of a headshake. Trying to let the subject drop, I kept quite. "You just want me to trust you and pretend like I don't exist when we're in front of people..?" Marco retorted. Something I said must've hit some imaginary nerve because he seemed hurt. "Nothing you've been talking about has made any sense anymore, you can't just cut me some slack?"

  
"Marco..." I took in a breath, letting my hand drop to my side. "No. " Our eyes locked, his dark brown orbs glistening with emotion. My mind was in such confusion. Staring at this copy, at this non-existent being and picking up on something so detailed as the glimmer in his eye, or the freckles on his face. The way his hair was frayed about and the way that his teeth poked out slightly when his lips parted.

  
How was it not real? How could my mind come up with all of these beautiful details? Trying to look at this emotion filled image in front of me and telling myself it wasn't real made me second guess everything around me.

  
"That's it then.." Marco mumbled. "Just no? That's all I get?"

  
"Please don't make this harder than it has to be." I begged.

  
"Harder? You mean, it can actually get harder? Being told about an entire war that passed by me in what felt like seconds, and-and being told about all the people that have died, and everyone that has moved on, left, disappeared, all the accomplishments and failures of everyone I know,-- I had to miss out on all of that. And you sit there and tell me that you don't want me talking to you in public? And you want to tell me that it can be harder? Do I embarrass you, Jean?"

  
"Marco, No- " I scrunched my eyes together in frustration. "That's not why! You can't.... I'm..-"

  
"What is it then!?" Marco pleaded.

  
"YOU'RE NOT REAL." I screamed. "You don't exist, you're only here because I want you to be! You weren't in a coma, Marco. You fucking died! You died in combat. You died fighting one of those fucking titans, and I just couldn't accept that!"

  
Marco stared at me in silence. "How.. Can I not be real.. If I'm right here?"

  
"Because this is all in my head. You're only saying that because I want you to..." I sighed, turning away. "You're only acting this way because that's how I think you would act in my head.."

  
I couldn't take looking at him any longer. It was too stressful on me. Too much for me to handle right now. I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed the clothing on the floor as I walked towards my bedroom. I didn't even look over my shoulder to see if Marco would follow me or not. I just stripped down to my boxers and collapsed on my bed.

  
After all of that, and I still need to spend lunch with Armin tomorrow and some how manage to get through it without him thinking I'm crazy.


	4. Explain Dead to Me

Dead.

What does that exactly mean? When something is dead, it no longer lives, but what does it mean to be dead? Being dead? Being. The state, or quality of having existence.

Dead.

Having lost life.

No longer alive.

One who has died.

Lacking all animation, or excitement.

Doomed.

How do I fall into any of those categories? How can I possibly have lost my life? I'm here. Right now. I'm thinking. My mind is processing the things around me, here listen. Do you hear that? That's my heart. My heart is beating, I can hear it. And-And wait, listen listen.

"Woooo" That, that was me. It was me breathing. That means that my lungs- they fill with air and keep my body going. They keep me living.

Oh! Not to mention! This, This right here. What you're reading. They're my thoughts, so I have to be living right?

Why did he tell me that then? How could he have been so upset with me to just flat out lie to me? Call me dead? He thinks that I lost my life? That I just no longer exist?

I do! I do exist though! I can prove it. If you could watch me, I would show you. I'm sitting here, staring at these god forbidden hands of mine, just thinking. I need to prove this. Not for your sake, not for his sake, but solely for my sake. Here he is. Sleeping beside me. His eyes are dark and troubled. The way he moans and growls in his sleep could no way tell me that he's had a good night sleep any time recently.

I want to crawl next to him, embrace him in a warm touch and slowly bring color back to his face. I want to let my exhale fuel his next inhale, I want to turn his skin from thorns to soft rose pedals. I want him to know that it's okay. Everything is okay. You'll be fine. Someone loves you, and they really really want to protect you.

When I stare down at him in this state, I couldn't possibly have anger bubble in me in any way. Happiness escapes me through each blink I take. Slowly, its replaced with sorrow.

And Pity.

Coma. The supposed coma he first told me I had suffered from, how long ago was that?

Twenty years? That's what he told me, wasn't it? Was that the last time he ever had a peaceful sleep? Has he always looked this way because of back then?

I want to prove to you. I want you to know that he is wrong. I am not dead.

I am very much alive.

And while I am, I will accept nothing but happiness from this sunken face.

I'll touch his hand, gently.

...

It's cold.

And Sweaty.

...

But definitely cold.

...

...

I don't like it.

* * *

 

"Geez, I'm sorry Jean, I didn't intend on being this late- Well, late at all actually!" Armin had an apologetic look on his face as he pulled the chair out behind him and took a seat in a bit of a rush. "I know, I know, no excuses, I should've called, something or another, but really, I am sorry."

"Nah, it's cool." I commented. He wasn't even really that late. Maybe about ten, fifteen minutes, give or take. "Did you have trouble with your hair or something?" I joked.

Armin rolled his eyes as he twiddled with a small strand that dangled just below his collar bones. "You always have some kind of comment..." He mumbled under his breath.

I took a sip of the water that I had in front of me, the clanking of the ice cubes went unheard as our waitress popped her head out of nowhere to quickly confirm our orders.

"I see the person you were waiting on finally showed up." She smiled with a polite gesture. "Same as always for you, Armin?"

"Ah, well.. I might..." Armin pondered for a second and then sighed in defeat. "Yeah, same as always, actually."

She turned to me and while we were here supposedly having lunch together, I wasn't even really hungry. Skimming over the lunch specials that were displayed on the table in front of us, nothing seemed appetizing. "Er... Can I just have..some bread...? "I hesitated. I heard a chuckle come from Armin. "And... Actually, do you guys have any potatoes?"

"Bread and potatoes huh?" Armin laughed after the waitress had rushed back to deliver our orders. "What kind of lunch is that?"

"The first thing to pop in my head honestly." I responded. "And.. I don't know. That waitress made me think of Sasha a bit."

Armin smiled, casting his focus elsewhere. "Yeah.. Just a bit."

"Wonder how they're doing..." I absentmindedly mumbled. The conversation died after that, and it wasn't until after our food had arrived that another one would start.

"Huh.. Doesn't look that appetizing at all now that I have it.." I commented looking down at my meal.

"Well, yeah, it's what we lived off of for almost half our life." Armin laughed.

"Ah. Whatever... So what's this little meeting about anyway?" I asked, breaking off a piece of the bread and shoving it into my mouth.

"What, we can't just have lunch together, to have lunch together?"

"Not when you're involved."

"Ah, I guess that's true..." He sighed. "Well..." Armin began to struggle temporarily for the right thing to say. "I don't know how to say it, so I guess I should be blunt... I want you to stop using my machines, okay?"

The bread dropped from my hand, but I recovered from the surprising comment rather quickly. "Alright... I actually wasn't intending to go back..."

"You weren't..? Really?" I nodded and a sign of relief went over him. "Oh thank goodness... I know.. I know I've said it before, a million times, but I did really mean it when I thanked you for helping me so far with this project.. I realized the last time that... Well... It wasn't fair for me to have done that to you. I... I used your acceptance of death-"

"Acceptance of death? What're you-"

"Don't play dumb with me Jean. You've been nothing but an empty vessel since you've retired out of the military. I took advantage of that. I saw this empty vessel and replaced it with my old thoughts about you. You were unbreakable, unbeatable, and completely impossible to defeat..." Armin sighed as he let his emotions pour out of him. "I messed with your psyche, Jean. I could've really messed you up mentally. And... Recently.. When I look at you.. I just...feel nothing but regret over this entire project..."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I'm worried! Look at you! You're.. You're obsessed! I can't believe I dangled the illusion of seeing Marco again in front of you and watched as it destroyed you. I know he was always on your mind, I know he was why you fought. He was the only reason that you were so invincible through it all, but when it was all over, he destroyed you...And.. I gave him the ability to.."

"That's not fair Armin." I countered, anger fueling my defense. "You can't sit there and throw that at me when you don't even understand."

" I don't understand?! I don't know what it's like to lose someone?"

"NO! You don't! You don't understand. You had Eren all the way until the end. You had Mikasa all the way through. You still have her! The one time you almost lost Eren, he got to come back! Marco never got to come back! No one even got to witness his death, no one even knew how scared he might've been, or how brave he was standing face to face with his death, nothing was honored to him in anyway!" I took in a breath, trying to calm down.

"Jean...We all lost people we loved.. You can't say Eren wasn't just as special to me as he was to you..."

"Why are you using it then?" I quickly asked. Armin blinked at me, confused. "What are you on those machines for so long each night when everyone's gone? Who are you talking to then?"

Armin looked downward. "...Anyone..." He breathed. "Anyone I never got the chance to say goodbye to.. All of our commanders.. Our squads.. Our team members... I know it was wrong.. But I even said goodbye to that trio...The cadet versions of them anyway."

The anger escaped me as I listened to his confession. "That's all I wanted it to be.." He continued. "I wanted it to be a way for people to have a second chance at what their last words would be.. I didn't want them to forget that person ever died..."

"Then.. What was it? What was the deciding factor with me? Why am I getting cut off?"

"Because..." Armin's blue eyes locked with mine as his posture stiffened. "I.. Heard you talking to yourself.. When you weren't hooked up, I mean."

My breath caught, and my eyes widened. As soon as those words came out of his mouth, the exact presence I had been successfully ignoring appeared right in front of me. Right next to Armin. For two seconds I had automatically assumed that the body walking past me was just a waitress.

But why would I be that lucky?

"Armin's gotten a lot prettier since I last remembered..."

"No..." I breathed.

"Jean.. Please, I heard you. I didn't want to say anything, but I don't like how it's made you."

"Also. I was thinking pretty hard the other night.. I'm sure you didn't mean what you said. Even if you did, I don't believe you. I just think you should know.. That between the two of us, you're more dead than I am." Marco suggested rubbing the back of his neck.

"Look at me. Jean, please. I know you don't want to admit it, but Marco isn't here anymore."

"Marco..."

"Yes Marco.. He's dead, Jean." Armin coaxed.

Marco blinked, turning towards Armin. "Did you tell him that? I've been in a coma all this time and you guys think it's funny to pretend like I'm dead?"

"Marco please." I begged. His presence threw me into such a frenzy. Armin was already calling me out on being crazy, I couldn't have him here to prove him right, could I?

"Please what? Oh! And if you think I'm dead, then how would I be able to do this?" I watched him as he reached for Armin's fork, pulling the food off of it, he held it in a defensive manner.

"Jean?" Armin's voice panicked. In one of the quickest moments of my life, I watched as Marco plunged the fork towards Armin's hand, but before I could even register what happened, the blond's voice broke through first. "Jean what the hell are you doing?" The next thing I registered was a firm press against my shoulder, and a tight grip on my wrist. I blinked. The grip Armin had on my wrist would only take a slightly tighter movement to break it, and with his palm pressed against my opposing shoulder, I was at arm's length of defending myself.

My fingers twitched, and a clanking noise sounded shortly afterward. Looking down, my skin crawled in coldness as I stared at the fork that had once been in Marco's hand, now flung onto the table.

"A-Armin..." I stuttered, looking next to him at Marco staring proudly at what he had done.

"Jean! Don't look at me like that! I had to show you! And him! I can still pick things up, and I can still cause pain if I really wanted to."

"Armin, please... Take me back to your place, please."

Armin's grip quickly released, his combat skills completely vanishing with the look of worry that was now plastered on his face. "Jean, what's going o-"

I cut him off as I chucked a random amount of money on the table and grabbed him by the wrist, dragging him out of there, leaving that crippled image of Marco I had behind me.


End file.
